Don’t tell me what your friends are doing. I’m not their parent. Yes, I’m well aware that engadget gets to do and say whatever it wants, reality be damned. But engadget doesn’t get any respect. There’s a connection there, kid, and I’m just waiting for you to get it.
And your grades. Sweet mother of all that’s holy, how you expect to make it into the big leagues is beyond me! The only thing worse than a bad review site is a bad review of a bad review site, and I’ve seen yours. Yeah, you thought wadding it up in those raggedy pants did the trick, but who does the laundry around here, genius? And if you think signing that felt good, you’re sadly mistaken!
Look, I don’t like having to come down on you. When I was just a little blog my old man used to knock me around something fierce. So I try to cut you some slack. But this partying all the time… blowing money right and left… it can’t come to any good. You need to act more responsibly. No more trips to electronics shows all over creation. You know there’s never anything worthwhile going on. And for pete’s sake no more contests! You think those prizes grow on trees?
You look like you’re getting the picture, so I’ll let you go. Oh, one more thing: stay off slashdot’s lawn, would ya? That guy is certifiably NUTS.
(note: this was for a contest Really Mobile is holding, so don’t think I’ve completely flipped!)